I have been doing my best to remain fair, supportive, a friend and kind during this separation process. I have hit a wall and am need of help or advice.
We have a 19 month old son. Custody is becoming and issue and I didn't imagine that it would be. Here is what I proposed to evenly share our time with him.
We are just now wrapping up week one where she had the 5 day stretch. This schedule splits time evenly 50/50 so no one is slighted. It is fair.
This morning I texted to arrange a pickup time for today. I told her, as per schedule, she can pick him up Tuesday and then I would pick him up Thursday night and have him till Tuesday night.
She protested and said that the schedule in week two has "too many transitions" and is not good for him and she s most likely not to honor it. I then proposed, "Fine, I will keep him through Wednesday (which would normally be her day) and that will cut down one transition but not divide the time equally". Her response? "Absolutely not".
In doing so, she clearly (if not unintentionally) admits that her schedule would end up costing her one day if I kept him through Wednesday and is not fair. So her solution is to take one day away from me and not allow me to get him Thursday night on week 2 - but it seems that ME losing a day in the name of "fewer transitions" is fair. I contend that there is nota major difference between 2 and 3 exchanges in a week. She won't budge.
Why will she not accept a 50/50 fair split? Why is she unwilling to sacrifice a day of hers for "fewer transitions" but expecting me to do so? It just seems irrational. She is now suggesting that we go to a mediator - which will most likely end in a result that NEITHER of us would like.
I have mentioned previously that in moving out she was forced to get a 5 day a week job. That GREATLY carves into the time she used to have with him and it is further declining because of split custody. In my opinion, she is start to feel the backlash of the decision(s) that she had made and is trying to shift the burden on me and that is not fair.
I want to be positive, upbeat, and nice - but how do you remain so in this situation? Let me add in the papers that she had filed she SPECIFICALLY asked for equal time! Now she is backing off of it. When I called her out on it, she said "I really want more than equal time, but was just trying to be amicable".
I want to remain on good terms, and maybe SOMEDAY save my marriage and family, but I am not going to allow myself to be robbed of time with my son anymore than this separation and potential divorce already has. HELP!!! What do I do?!?!?! I don't want to kick this over to lawyers because of the expense.
