Where to next?

[mishka422]

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was wonderful!

We had a very nice time. I chose to just go with the flow, make what I could, and be 'personality plus' with my family. I never had any intention of asking why I wasn't included in the planning, and I didn't ask. There just didn't seem to be any point to it anyway.

Yesterday was Marc's 17th birthday. I am amazed every day that he has come through this craziness relatively unscathed. He was just barely 13 when this started. We let him do whatever he wanted all day and then we took him to dinner and got him a new airplane model to put together and a movie. He's sitting at the table putting the model together right now. He loves to show me his progress as he goes. Cracks me up, he still looks for praise on every little part of what he's doing. I make sure to give it to him without going overboard. LOL

There is an internal battle I wage with myself every day. I'm afraid it will go for the rest of my life, but I'm finding new ways to put it aside. Yesterday I put all of my inside Christmas decorations up. As I was unpacking the boxes and picking out what I would and wouldn't use this year I kept having flashbacks to the few years past. Sitting in the middle of the living room floor crying hysterically over "Our First Christmas" ornaments (I've since given them all away), throwing out all the ornaments that had any sentimental value to me (except Marc's baby ornaments - let's not be crazy!).
Remembering the incredible kindness found in the wonderful people here that I've never met in person but who were so generous as to contribute to making Christmas a wonderful occasion for Marc and I in a particularly bleak year. So many memories that have both good and bad ties. I've been finding it easier to put away the bad ones and concentrate on the blessings.


So, as we all have learned, every day brings ups and downs and we have to find a way to cling to the ups with all our might!

The downs may cause me days or weeks of pain, but they won't win.