Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Thanks AJ, everything you're saying is really helpful.

Yeah, between the lines, I "heard" this guy sort of giving off the "getting a woman in my life is what I need to fix me", especially when he told me that after his divorce in 2010, that he was doing really badly "until" he started seeing a new woman (whom he is no longer seeing). I think it's his job loss that really sent him over the edge, but the quickness of job loss on top of divorce meant he never put any thought into why his wife left him and filed (he said she left him several years ago and then she came back and they "tried" and then she "suddenly" filed, and he kept just saying he had no idea why any of this ever happened, but she has 100% custody of the kid).

It is so weird, I feel like if there is a barometer of what men I find attractive, it's ones who have found a way to take a tragedy and turn it into an opportunity to learn more about themselves and to grow, and I just wasn't seeing that with this guy. I saw a "runner." And I guess that meant that despite his good looks, he wasn't "attractive" after all.