Antonia - I really, truly appreciate this post! For better or worse - I've always had the "never give up" mentality. It's the stubborn Irish side of me showing. The boundaries I set are almost always met with hateful disrespect. My older Ds saw this displayed on Thanksgiving. My one D said to her brother - "She has the right to say "NO" to you sometimes." That sent S into a rage and he left. The night was ending anyway and we all left to go home. But it took this lovely holiday and turned it into a dark, heavy night.
In reality, he is spoiled. I have probably overcompensated over the last 18 months. I have worked hard to keep his life "normal" - but it has been an emotional roller-coaster.
He threatens to move out and I try to redirect. Not only do I not want to lose my son - but also, if truth be told - I am trying to avoid another dive into the cesspool that has become my trashy life. I try to hold my head up through the other public displays with the OW and XH - but I don't think I can take the loss of my son as well. Would these behaviors have shown themselves if the divorce had not taken place - maybe. But I honestly believe that to have 2 parents united in raising him would have significantly reduced the odds.
I am sorry if I sound like I'm whining here - I am honestly just at my wits end!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
