Beginning now...

[AntoniaB]

Is this the same son whose games you're always going to despite having to confront XH and OW publicly?

I'm SURE everyone will disagree with me but if that were my son, and he was taking out his aggression over his father on me, I'd stop going to his games. But again, I do not have kids and I do not know how these things work.

I will continue to pray for you, but I guess the other thing I would say is that whatever way you and your XH would have normally "dealt" with behavior like his, whatever he's doing, you should do the same. You said you have no one to turn to for help or support. Well you are the lone person here and you have it in you to discipline him. You're not USED to doing this I'm sure, and when a male is "acting up" I'm sure it helps to have his father come down on him, but taking out his anger at his father on you just plain isn't doing right by you after all you've done to keep things "together" for your family, and it's not going to make him feel better anyway.

I understand the feeling of "weak and beaten" but you need to take that emotion and turn it around into some sort of boundary with this son, some sort of consequence or action. Just keep saying to yourself, "I am not a victim. I'm a survivor. And survivors don't allow their kids to mistreat them and this is what I'm going to parent this son entirely myself."

I know it's easier said than done but this is the same strategy you use to fight everything else. Feel the victim role, you'll be a victim...feel the stronger, more capable role, and you will become it.