REQ: Looking for a thread from a fellow DBer...

[Abbey]

[quote]
Abbey – you are living in a fantasy relationship. You are believing what this man, who is a liar, tells you. I can guarantee you he is spinning all the same lines to her.

Thus why I went over and blew his lying ass out of the water ... in front of her. This wasn't done without thought. It needed to be done. It was time to untie a few of his slip-knots with this thing. I had gave him "permission" to go be with her. (I'll explain why again in a sec) The rule... don't like to me. Tell me that's where you are. He lied, I called him on it. The bonus was I gave her the "oh goodie, I'm winning" carrot. She bought it hook line and sinker.

I KNOW he's lying to her, I hear it. I know stuff that she does NOT know. He's scheming against her, when they get into their passive aggressive fights, that's where the honesty comes out of his mouth. With me, it's when there are tears. Otherwise,...I know the web of lies he's spinning on both sides of this thing and I don't believe him at ALL. Not one bit.

He's tried to pull that she's not giving him access to his daughter because I went over there. BS. More crap lies, and manipulation. I'm looking at the big picture here. And it's a chess match.

Based on his past with this whole mess, if she knew what I know... she'd lose her nut. I understand his M.O.... as well as hers. She has no idea about her so called "perfect" relationship with him and how things unfolded.

EG: him asking me to raise that child when she was 8 weeks preg. I decided then had to "have an affair THEN go dark" the first time to turn it around. All I'm really doing is the same thing now. It worked then, (as it has worked for others who've been chronicled with the DB site, who've gone the "friends" route).

I've done my 180. I'm continuing to do my 180. I've got a few more 180s in store for him. I've regenerated my side of the business we "do". I've given him something to miss. He's started to look at me with those "eyes". His touch ... not "wanting sex" touches... but just bonding type touches are at his initiation, not mine. He chases. The "eyes" thing comes and goes. I'm acting "as if"... being nice for the most part. Distancing and letting him chase me. And he does.

I know this and have known this since the day this came into focus. They NEED to play house. It's the perfect recipe for them to self destruct. I have to do nothing when it comes to that except ... maybe hurry that process along.

Forget for the moment if or why I may want this guy back once it all comes out in the wash. But lets say, he's truly remorseful once they self destruct and he DOES hit bottom... I KNOW the mistakes that were made when we reconciled. He didn't do HIS work, didn't take adequate responsibility for his actions,... NOR did we do the counseling that we needed to do to have him fully understand what he did.

I'm leaving the door opened half an inch... no more, no less. Only because for some reason I still love him. I wish I didn't. I know we HAVE to separate (and welcome it, want it actually), and I know he HAS to get her FULL brunt in order for him to get rid of her once and for all. I'm combining DB with Fertel's program. It was that combo that worked last time.