Well, I think she said all the crap to you because she knows she's guilty of what you said to her. Since she can't accept responsibility for it, she turns it back around on you, and makes it all about you and you this and you that. And the stuff with her saying maybe Son didn't like you anymore for breaking up the family, blah, blah, it's utter nonsense, and if she was thinking clearly, she would know it. So like you said, go dark, as much as you can with the two kiddos.
I think everybody you know, your kids, your friends, your co-workers, everybody would say you had changed and for the better. Heck, even we on this site who aren't there, can tell it. My H did the exact same thing for a long time. He would bring up the same things over and over. For the longest time, it didn't matter one whit that I had changed, it only mattered that he felt hurt and resentful. I think your wife can acknowledge your changes, while at the same time she is more concerned with her own hurt and resentment.
My H, during this time, was still carrying on with ow. It is going to take time. It hasn't been terribly long for you and your W, even if it seems like an eternity to you. It's good you aren't giving om much mind space, not allowing him to have an important place he doesn't deserve.
Just carry on your life, as though things were not going to change., you are doing a great job with the GAL, already anyway. Hanging out with friends, maybe going away for a day or so on trips without the kids, not giving her the details. Enjoy the days leading up to Christmas, you and the kids decorate the heck out of your front yard.
And it isn't true that there is no hope in your situation, there is always hope; some of the worst situations have turned around. And yours can, too. I honestly thought my situation would end differently than it has.
Don't despair, if you have the DB book, read it again, get more insight into what's happening.
