Oh I know about my BIL and the emotions...my BIL has been dealing with severe depression for years. Many times my sister has been feeling she has to separate from him. He is on anti-D's but won't do any more (like counseling) and he's usually less "extreme" in terms of emotions on anti-d's but he just has to keep changing what he takes, or taking 2 at a time...because it's like 5 years on the meds with no behavioral conditioning or exploration or anything and he will never go for that. The brother he fought with, he's gone for entire years or more not speaking to him. He was in a period where he was, and their mother died of cancer (3rd death from cancer in the family) and he refuses "help" of any sort, and he just gets angrier and angrier. He just erupted and shoved his younger brother into a wall over how he put the casserole away, and his brother punched back. I guess it was pretty ugly. My sister I think is kind of afraid of him. She's never seen "this" side of him. She came to my parents but really didn't want to go home last night. We kept saying it would blow over but she is convinced this will drag on into a years-long feud.
There is nothing any of us can do of course but stay out of it and if we see my BIL, act normal.
My mother is 67 and has to take care of the house and property (1/4 acre yard, flowers, etc.) all herself as my dad refuses to do anything at all for himself. She found out she can put her name on this list for these cottages in this Catholic community for over 50, where she can have all the yard stuff done by someone. As she has asthma and a lot of typical age-related ailments (diabetes, back and knee problems, etc.) we really want her to do this and position herself to move in the next year or so. My father insists he is going to "die" in their house and just keeps saying that she needs to do all the work till my nephews are old enough to come do it for them. It's really sad. It's like he is imprisoning her there. She will never just go against him and say the heck with you, I'm moving. I feel bad for her. I don't know what to do. My dad's mood swings are terrible. He's either very mean to her or does the silent treatment.
As for relationships, yeah...I see some serious dysfunction in all the marriages in my immediate family, and then my brother who rejects the idea of even a girlfriend. I am SO not looking anymore...either there is someone worth it out there for me or there just isn't. I'm not saying things have to be perfect by a long shot, but goodness, these relationships are all faring far WORSE than my marriage ever did until XH's MLC/OW, and these people are in a lot of pain, and I only know the one side. Maybe the male side is no happier.
I got home today and XH sent me a check for 350.00 for what he called the medical plan for our cats...this was spurred on by the recent death of our boy cat and a few others we used to "jointly parent" who are starting to have health issues. I thought that was nice of him and I sent him a note saying we really appreciated it and hoped he would take very good care of himself.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
