I know the holidays are going to sukk this year so I am just doing what I have to get through it. Next year is going to be better I just know it.
I really missed H yesterday was weird to cook everything alone. Used to having him help me. He came over really early in the am to see the boys. All dressed up in his new clothes but said he was staying home. I don't buy it but said nothing.
Got to see my nephew, he is so cute going to be 1 in Jan. My sister and her h tried so hard to have a baby and finally adopted last year. I am so happy for them and it was great to see them as a family. Made me sad though so strange how you can be so happy for someone else and sad for yourself. I just want to have my family back. Always thought it would be the 4 of us weird to just have 3. Oh well boys had a great day that is all that counts. They love having their cousins over.
I wonder when H is going to tell them he won't be here for Christmas. I hope he comes up with something good and doesn't tell them the way he told me like it is my fault he had to go away for Christmas that isn't going to fly with me
Feeling very lonely tonight. H has the boys and they texted me a picture from dinner. Wish I would have been there. He told them he was going to england for Christmas they seemed to take it ok. Those boys of my really suprise me they just seem to go with the flow and still seem like happy kids. I guess we are doing something right with them. S7 told me that he asked dad to take him to England and dad told him not this time but maybe when he was 9. S7 was telling me how we would all go when he was 9. I really didn't know what to say.
"S7 was telling me how we would all go when he was 9. I really didn't know what to say."
Tough to know what to say in those situations. But, you never know... maybe you do go as friends or family (even better!). 2 years is a long time and a lot can happen.
Wishing you the best!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
yes, the holidays may sukk this year, but I'm with you. It will be SO much better next year for us regardless. We keep working on ourselves, and we'll be unstoppable!!!
I'm glad your boys are doing so well in spite of all this. I know it has something to do with how much their mom loves/takes care of them
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
I have been so down lately I can't seem to get back up. H just brought the boys back and he didn't seem in a rush to go home was talking to me about tv shows and random crap. I just really miss him and don't think he misses me at all. We seem to be getting along better he talks to me more but I think that is because I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. Think it was a relief for him. I keep thinking I should call the L and say I want to hold off filing until after Christmas. I just don't want to go back to how things were between us. I just don't know what to do anymore.
