I told her that our Son was not himself, I asked him about OM and he told me what was happening, I also said that it was nothing to do with me what she did, but just keep an eye on our son.
This was turned right around back on me, she said that maybe he was not himself was because he didn't like me anymore for what I did, breaking the family up and spoiling it for everyone, she said that she still had issues with me and cannot forget how I was in the past and was still hurting.
She said that in years to come she expects our kids to blame her for not leaving before she did, rather than them see how I was.
I just listened and agreed in principle, but added that she cannot look into the future, and how does she know that in 20 years time, the kids won't say to her why didn't you give Dad a chance when he changed, she said if I'm not sober for 20 weeks, never mind 20 years, I said I was were I was, but she started to look into the future and mind read
We ended that call amicably, but she is still carrying a lot of hurt around, again she said that it broke her heart to leave me, but she had to, again I thanked her for that
I am now coming to the conclusion that I really am wasting my time hoping that things will change with us.
Yes, I will continue with the changes I have made, as I am really benefiting from them, I am happy and well.
But that is not where she is right now, she says that she is happy, but it is very clear that she isn't, she is still hurt badly by the last few years. The OM is a bandaid to this hurt, he's there for her, and she is enjoying the company and attention.
She said yesterday again that she cannot forget the past, I know that she never will, I don't expect her to forget,so while she thinks like this, we have no chance.
Its happened, she loved me dearly and I hurt her, the pain is still there as she probably still loves me, but I don't think she will ever get over it.
Again the past got thrown in my face again yesterday, I don't deny it and accept it, but she cannot forget it.
So I don't think it will ever work out in the future.
I don't really know what to do now, any contact will only make the matter worse, all contact has been from her for the last few months really, so there is no change from me there, but I am stopping being so available, or will that look petty following this issue?
I really need to move on, I really thought I had, I was positive and looking forward, but all the contact from her, the things she said, the laughing and joking has confused me and give me hope when there wasn't any
