DB'ing is soooo hard!

[workinghardguy]

You know I wonder about how long I can live like this being so lonely for her, how I can rewrite my inner life so that I think in terms of my life plan in terms of me alone and not married to her

And in here lies the problem... I tend to believe words are important and they say a lot of what we're thinking. You chose alone in your description. Not apart from you wife, not divorced, not single... you chose alone. From my vantage point you are scared of being alone. You see yourself through the prism of marriage and not as an independent person. So your two options are a) married to your W or b) alone. But there's a third option... living your life on your terms. This doesn't mean being alone. It means following YOUR path.

Rick is dead on... you have to stop doing things with your W. You do more stuff with your W than I do and I still live with mine! Hell, I can't actually remember the last thing W and I did together. Seriously... might have been an apple orchard trip in September. Yes we spend time together in the house, but even that is mostly apart.

The other piece is that it takes time to get used to being single. You can't do that attached to your W. These weekends where my W works and it's just my S and I, I have been "role playing" like I'm divorced. Doing a test run to see what it is like and to get a sense for how it will feel. I can't say I like all of it, but if I'm honest there are parts that I really enjoy.