Thanks. I am in a good mind frame. I've actually been wondering if I'm ok because I am not devastated completely. I'm not jumping for joy but emotionally I have felt worse than this. 7 years ago when this first arose I was literally catatonic. I've had some rough moments today but mostly manageable. Who knows what the roller coaster will reveal.
I think that is a good policy albeit difficult. I may be in denial about the possibility of a PA. Don't know. But my correspondence with her has assumed PA. She has not denied PA but only expressed remorse that she did not have what it takes to ask for D 7 years ago.
Strange this is. I've thought we were on the road to Reconciliation most days. Even today, when I had been the one to push it to a head, she tried to sweep it under the rug. Yesterday after I left to cool off she even had breakfast made for me when I got back. Her actions are in conflict with her beliefs. She has been somewhat affectionate, always looks out for me, generally wants to spend time with me. Our outlook on things is generally in harmony. We fit each other like a glove. Yet she states our relationship is mediocre and we each deserve better?
I spent this evening with her parents. No R talk or anything other than it's obvious that they want to help but know they can't. We just visited. I was grateful to have someone to spend the evening with even though there were moments I wasn't sure I could handle being around anyone at all.
