Unfortunately, my former marriage was destroyed by the addictive cycle that sometimes is initiated by the use of pornography. X started with magazines/videos and moved on to full blown sex addiction (prostitutes, everything). In hindsight, I know that through our 30 years together - we fought the ups and downs of an active and healthy sex life that often occurs with 2 working parents. As the kids got older and X confronted about wanting more - I had to take a good look in the mirror and make some changes. At the end of my marriage - the crazy thing was that our sex life had never been better.
C - if you have decided to stay then you have to expect you are going to have some moments that take you down. You will have to catch yourself and find some productive ways to handle it. This concept of detachment truly has a place here. YOU have to take care of YOU - regardless of what he does.
As 25 years has pointed out to me, Angel, Alb, and a few others, he is still very broken and I know this. I just got SO fed up this past week. You are right though, I will probably face more moments ahead. I'm just so tired lately. Sometimes lately I feel like a walk away spouse inside. I just want to be happy. I feel like I'm changing inside. I love my H more than anything... but I'm reaching a point where I need to love me too, and I haven't loved me enough in so long.
I'm sorry you went through all of that. I do relate. (((())))
I was so adamant against porn going into this M due to the porn addiction my first H had. I can understand that men are visual, men enjoying viewing the female body, and the female body doing things, but when it becomes an addiction it's completely different than casual viewing.
My h in his words said, "It's an addiction". When he said, addiction, my red flags raised up sky high.
