PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[Gnosis]

Peter,

Firstly, my sympathies for what you're going through.
I don't post much here anymore.
Secondly,

She was obviously itching to say something - she asked if I had looked at her iPhone

She left the phone out on purpose. You're being manipulated and tested. All of this recent stuff (incl. the sex) was to pull you back in line until she decides what SHE wants to do.

Personally I would not have slept with her until she had an STD test. Now that you have you need to get and get one done asap. This is for YOUR safety and health. Please do this.

In the meantime you absolutely MUST back as far away from her as possible and give her space. She needs time to grieve the loss of her 'soulmate' (I STILL get nauseous using that word) and the death of her fantasy. What you can expect are WILD mood swings from her for at least the next six months. She needs to work OM out of her system completely -- if she doesn't move on to another OM.

Additionally, as you've found out, as much as you suspect an affair, as much as you prepare for it mentally -- the discovery is still the worst kick in the nuts you can get. Your own fantasy and secret hope of her fidelity have been shattered and you're knocked completely off kilter.

You're going to need some space and time of your own to get centered. Distance yourself from her and do your GAL. Don't stop taking back control of your life right now. You cannot decide if you want her or not right now. The TIMING is WRONG and you make bad decisions in an emotional state.

You showed some good self-control in not rushing after her to beat the facts over her head when you first found out. I applaud you for that. Get back in the drivers seat and take back control of yourself.


FYI - I'm one of the rare one's here that is fully reconciled with my W.