I'm still here-again

[imthemom]

for all its worth it sounds like alot of us are having a hard time today...
Im use to a housefull and have been sitting alone all morning cooking and getting ready for my sons to come later. But getting up to a quite house and no one to watch the parade with made me weep.
I had my cry and now im determined to have a nice visit and try not to dwell on the fact that what is left of my family is not what I planned.
thinking of you

[~¤DG¤~]

Thanks V- I am thankful for you as well!

[~¤DG¤~]

(((Hugs))) to you Mom

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling---

Today was a nice, low key day. It was exactly what was needed.
The weather was in the high 50's, and the sun was shining. I took the dog on 2 long walks today.
The kids & I ate about 1, then watched the Packers beat the Lions, and met my Dad and Step Mom for a movie. Very nice.

I sent H a msg on FB wishing him a happy holiday, and he responded later saying the same and all his love to me and the family.

I am really going to be happy when 2011 is over. This year has sukked. 2012 has got to be better than the year I've had.

I know there isn't a time limit on these things, but I would think that after so many months apart it wouldn't hurt as badly.

[jbnati]

DG, I'm glad your day straightened out and got a little better.

Next Thanksgiving will definintely be better. While this year sukked, remember all of the positives. Think about the DG at the beginning of they year versus the new and improved DG now.

I am also thankful for you and getting to know on this MB.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling---

I am always on such an emotional roller coaster after we have communication. I find myself reverting to old habits, like FB stalking, trying to see what he is doing, posting etc.
This morning it hit me how much this is hurting me and not helping, so I've decided to take a break from FB for a while.
Too many mutual friends, too many opportunities to ask questions and to fish for information.

I don't want to be that woman anymore, I really don't.

The truth is, if H wanted to be with me, he would be.
I've given him ample opportunity to come home and he doesn't want to.

[paige40]

Yesterday was a rough day for me as well. I think the holidays just add to the missing. today is better and we all got through it. Now we just have to get through Christmas and New Years. 2012 is going to be a better year for all of us.

[~¤DG¤~]

2012 has got to be a better year.

[~¤DG¤~]

My parents invited us to go have dinner with them, which was nice.
It was just S10 & I since S15 was out with a friend.

On our way home, we noticed quite a few people had Christmas lights on already. I love looking at lights and it was a nice time. I found myself in better spirits.

[keep_going]

DG-

I posted to your thread a couple of months back and just got updated on your sitch. I am sorry that your H filed, specially during this season.

Yet, I wanted to tell you that in reading your posts I can see the tremendous amount of growth you have done in the past few months. I am soo impressed - I sincerely congratulate you. You now know you will be ok, regardless of what happens with your H. That doesn't mean you won't have ups and downs and will continue hurting, but you have found yourself again.

Even though we have roughly the same timelines in our journey, I am no way near as far along as you. I am still very much struggling with being consistent with my changes and still have a hard time controlling my anger. But I am not giving up. Seeing how far along you are gives me hope and a source of inspiration of how much I can accomplish.

I agree 100% with you - 2012 has got to be better year.