Bad nights sleep!!, kept waking up thinking about wife, OM, kids, lies,lies, lies!!!
My mind is all over the place right now!!
I don't understand what is actually going on anymore, maybe thats how its suppose to be right now!
I knew OM was about, I got over that, I have been dealing with it well, and not really thought about it.
But now I know he's around my kids, being introduced as mum's friend from school, hurts.
It hurts that an other man is around my kids, it also hurts as it kind of shows me that it is more serious than I originally thought, maybe I have been kidding myself at times?
It maybe that he's the love of her life, and they will live happily ever after, its easy to say if it is, good luck to them, but I'm kidding myself if I think that, I still love her!
So, I can only stay detached, maybe detach even more
I will remain friendly, civil, but not so available to her
Did I get too hopefull, maybe, but I'm not totally devastated as I would have been in the past.
There is nothing I can do, it happens in her home, when the kids are with her, and I can only trust that she would not do anything to hurt our kids.
I need to be positive about this, the more time they spend together, the more chance that peoples faults will be seen and noticed.
I need to understand that I am not part of her life again, yes, she says some nice things to me, Yes, she tells me how hurt she was when we split, but for now she is with someone else, she has told a lot of lies in the past, so was it all lies then also, I have to take it that, I don't really want her part of my life anymore
Why would I?
It really is time to move on, I have been so positive recently, felt great, my confidence was brimming over, I have to maintain that mindset during this time.
I will be the better person, I am the better person, and I will be happy!!!!!
