Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

Not surprisingly, I have not heard from H yet re. weekend schedule. He is supposed to pick up kids tomorrow at some point. I knew there was a strong possibility of him doing this, since OW arrived this afternoon.

He has done it in the past. As soon as she arrives, he goes completely MIA - sometimes for a couple of days. He won't call to talk to the kids or anything. One day I had a very imp. and time-sensitive q about our finances and he didn't call back for two days. Thank goodness nothing bad has happened - I might not be able to reach him.

Anyways, I don't think this time will be the case. He said OW has her own plans for tomorrow (she is not going to MIL's house), so I am sure he will call 5 minutes after she walks out the door and tell me he will pick up kids in 10 minutes. He probably won't address the plans for the whole weekend at that time. He hates confrontation and this issue might be a tough one for him. He is a pleaser and doesn't want to disappoint anyone. Given the way he has dealt with this, makes me think he is conflicted.

He will probably just tell me when he picks up the kids that he will bring them back on X date and time.

I am letting go and not pursuing or insisting. I will let him do this on his terms...

What [censored] is that he is not only controlling his own time, but mine. (I am venting now)... I am in limbo for the weekend and cannot solidify any plans, not knowing when I'll have the kids. This is typical of H since separation. Flaky, late, procrastinating and never considering my time or need to have a life.

I have tried to set boundaries, have clear schedules, asked him to work with me and pre-plan these things. He will cooperate with me when OW is not in town or when he has definite plans with OW and he wants to make sure kids' schedule works for him. Otherwise, he does this - just not deal with any of it. Some may call it irresponsible, insensitive, selfish. I don't disagree, but to me, it's mostly sad... forget me and my needs - these are his three kids we are talking about after all...