Btw, I can guarantee that his exactly what he's told her. She'd already be losing her nut if that was the case. Trust me when I say this, she's a WACKJOB.
From before: 65 text messages and a full voice mail message bank within 3 hours. Told H that she aborted the baby when she didn't. Let him believe it for 2 weeks. Broke into the house and when he called the cops, she accused him of beating her up. Lemme see, thrown hot coffee at him; chased him down the freeway, cutting some 3 lanes of traffic and a high speed chase down residential streets.
A simple phone call from me to deal with taxes, sent her so far off the edge that she threatened to kill me with a hammer.
They bring out the narcissist in each other. Frankly the last thing I want is for her to know what's going on here. It suits the DBing that needs to be done.
Abbey,
From my perspective, you have your priorities out of whack. You are focusing on your husband's affair partner first (and almost exclusively) here. It's a given that an OW/OM is a predator. What's important is how YOU deal with it, what healthy boundaries you set, and how you choose to interact with your wayward husband. Although I strongly disagree with the whole "act like their best friend" thing, I can RESPECTFULLY disagree with it, and support you in it (while disagreeing), but even those that ADVOCATE it will tell you how important healthy boundaries are to that process. They are even MORE important than if you chose the LRT or beyond-the-LRT, since you've chosen to remain in the middle of your husband's infidelity for the time being.
Help me understand: if DBing is about "do what works," then why would you NOT let OW know your husband is still ML to you, when you ADMIT that it would be effective??
