(1) Gabe felt comfortable enough with you to make a joke about him being uncomfortable with your family. That's a GOOD thing. You were scared and said something, and he REASSURED you. That's a GOOD thing.
(2) Who knows why your cousins did what they did? Rather than mindreading, moping, and no doubt going in for some passive aggressive stuff, be direct: Thanks for all your hard work, I LOVE doing Thanksgiving, get me back in the loop next year. Why not ASSUME they were trying to support you. OR, maybe they just wanted to team up this year. This doesn't say anything about you, ya know?
(3) It is VERY egocentric to make your BFFs actions about you. Almost certainly she has something major going on in her life and has no emotional resources left to spend time with anyone in a good or bad way. This happens in our lives sometimes. If you don't give her space that she needs because of your neediness, it is kind of selfish. It is also not so nice to doubt and mistrust someone you've been friends with most of your life. Leave her a SINCERE voicemail: BFF -- whatever is going on, I know we'll be OK. So please don't stress about me. I just want you to know that I'm here to support you in anyway you need, whether that is margaritas and movies or a shoulder to cry on. Detach to allow space for real intimacy and friendship.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Take the opportunity to make something NEW and INCREDIBLE to bring that you would never have done if you were preparing 10 other things. Fun!!! I'm doing a new strawberry pie this year and thought about doing carmelized onion tarts. Look at this recipe: http://ofbaking.com/2011/10/03/ridiculously-good-caramelized-onion-tart/
