About the selfishness: Example, my H wants me to pack my feelings in a bag, accept him telling the OW that he loves her, with me in ear shot. He expects me to just suck up everything he does, where-ever HIS emotions pull or push him.
I asked a simple question about juggling the OW using the child to pull him around and jump at any given time. The question dealt with him finding it hard to juggle her lack of respect for HIS time, and how he plans to juggle that with business.
He then gets all pissy and got his feelings all hurt. (he's projecting her snarky, verbally abusive comments, on to me. We dealt with this before - took a lot of patience and gentle hand holding to break him of it.) ... Sooooo.... I had to take his hands and look him straight in the face and calmly say: Hey, that's not what I said, nor what I meant. Juggling is going to be hard on you, is ALL I meant. You initiated the comment about her expecting you to be available at her whim. I simply asked the obvious question.
They are abducted by aliens. Best thing you can do is accept that. My mantra was and is: They are F'ed in the head. I repeat it over and over.
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
