H took my son to buy me a gift

[MrBond]

"Why would i want him to be happy having a life with ow?"

You haven't changed at all. You don't need to "want" him to be happy. You need to accept the current situation the way it is. Because you don't, you turn out vindictive and spiteful. Not a good way to have your H want you over the OW.

"I want him to be as sad as i am about the break up of our family."

It's been over three years. He was probably sad about it before, but you can't get over the fact that he's trying to be happy. The tattoos, the bike, the OW. They are all forms of escapism. Again, if you haven't changed (condemning, opinionated, etc.) why would he want to come back to you?

"It makes me angry when he is happy, it seems he has no conscience then. i dont know if its a MLC, or he's a narcissist"

Neither. He just doesn't see you as a willing option right now. Everyone seems to see it except you. Have you ever thought that maybe it's you the reason why he doesn't want to come back? Just being honest.

"In almost every business or personal relationship, he bribes people to get what he wants."

Earlier you mentioned how he was a great businessman, honest, etc. NOW you say he bribes people. You do understand that since you know that, you are a beneficiary of this dirty money. Yet you seem fine when he gives you money. So what is it? You can't have both.

Just being honest here. IMHO you need to take a look at those things and see what's wrong. In fact, 25mlc had posted a number of questions to you before but you never answered. So I really don't know if you're serious about this or not, and that's why I wasn't sure if your sitch was even real.

You think it's going to be real easy. Once H is home, everything will be okay and he'll listen and follow everything you say. Won't happen. Change comes from within first.