Is this discussion really about porn or about productive establishment of boundaries. While I was reading these posts all I could think about was my puppy...LOL (somebody had to bring up a dog when discussing porn and men). A while ago I let him out to do his thing and after which he started running around like mad when I called him to come back in. Nothing horrible, just not coming back to me quickly. When he finally did return I scolded him for not returning when called.....very common reaction to the situation I thought as I had things to do that were important to me. It was when I walked inside that my wife made a very important point....while she understood it was upsetting me that the puppy didn't return right away, scolding him for eventually returning was not the answer either. By scolding him when he returned I was in essence scolding him for returning. In his mind he returned and I scolded him, so why should he return and be scolded. I was reinforcing in his mind that he should run around longer than come home and be scolded. After that I stopped scolding him for returning slower than I wanted and of course that lead to him coming home much faster when called.
IMHO the question isn't about the right or wrong of porn as your husband does know your feelings on the subject. The real thought is how his honesty was handled. He came to you and was honest about something he knew before hand would bother you.....and was scolded for his honesty. Are you right in being angry....hell yes!!! For YOU porn is disrespectful and that is fine with me. But I would venture a guess that dishonesty is a greater evil than the porn for you?
In the end marriage really isn't about who is right and who is wrong.....it is about handling the situation.
