Feel like I'm living the movie Groundhog Day...

[workinghardguy]

Thanks guys... Wish I felt inside quite as positive as you all seem to portray me

No change this morning... still cold and removed, though part of that is her having to work this early. She's not a morning person.

Woke up with no desire to discuss the D papers or Facebook with her. I think FB might even be a test of sorts... the other day, when she deleted our FB photos, and I stupidly brought it up she mentioned that she wonders how often I check her page. So I'm not even going to mention it... and whatever, I'd notice if another friend's updates stopped routinely showing up on my feed, but I'm not going to mention it.

I realized this morning during my run that, beyond the holidays, this week is hard for my W. Her best friend is visiting before she goes away to Japan for three years. I know my W is heartbroken over that. I'm quite sure some of that emotion is pouring over into us, and I just make an easy target to channel hurt and anger towards.

I also had a little epiphany last night... my W is sort of like a teenager right now. It had to do with the FB thing. It just reminded me so much of when a teenager does something spiteful just to be spiteful. Just to push their parents away, to say "see? I don't want you". You can react as a parent and play into their hand. Or you can just take the "whatever" approach. My W may want to end our R but she can't. We have a S together, we have stepkids that see me as a dad... As much as she may want to just end our R there will always be something. It may be different, it may be less or more, but I'm going to be here like it or not. So do your petty little stuff... when I'm not feeling sorry for myself I actually find some of the little crap she does amusing.