Can MLC last a short time?

[MrBond]

"I've been doing the heavy lifting in my life since I was six years old."

We're only talking about your M.

"then ... more lies surface."

He was honest with you about it. Did you ever think that he felt ashamed because he knew your stance about it? Chastising him for it isn't going to make him feel any better.

"He may start going behind my back again now, because of my reaction. (I cried about it)"

You should have talked it over. That just made the both of you feel bad and ashamed. You have to understand that he has feelings to which caused him to do this. If you want him to understand how you feel, you have to understand how he feels and not generalize it by saying "men are visual, etc."

"I've definitely been doing the heavy lifting since July 3."

Healing doesn't happen overnight. And let's face it, we've ALL done the heavy lifting. Some for years.

"I on the other hand feel like I'm the walking wounded who just fled a huge battle and Im' full of bullet holes. Sorry to be so dramatic but that's really just how it feels this week."

You feel like you've been through war and now that you've "won" it's bittersweet. It's natural. You feel that you are "entitled" to so much more. It's the natural feelings that come up during the healing process. But you need to try and connecting more rather than come up with more "expectations" of how you should be feeling. Take it one day at a time.

"I have to start taking of me, and he will have to take care of himself."

This will make it worse.

"because I don't know what else to do."

Go to a MC. Write up a list of what you would like to see him to do help you during this period and give it to him. What would make you feel secure and loved again?

Don't stop learning about how to strengthen your M. There are tons of resources available about how to do that. Right now your expectations are what's killing your chances. This isn't heavy lifting. It's a matter of forgiveness and moving forward from this point on.

Let's face it, if you really think about it, there are probably things that you've done that he found objectionable but he let it slide. No one is perfect. Start from there.