On the humiliation issue, I understand how you feel, but if you can step outside yourself, and think about this happening to someone else, like a good friend, it might help. Actually in that case it is the husband you would feel ashamed of . . .
I felt humiliated about what was happening until I changed my focus. it is my xh who behaved horribly, not me. People being abused feel shamed and humiliated - it one of the things that abuse does, but actually no-one but the abused 'blames' them.
If your h was stealing from you, you would be ashamed of him, not of yourself.
Their insensitivity to their children's pov is extraordinary, but it really comes home to roost down the line, sad to say.
I know you are exhausted, and I can only reiterate, it gets better, honestly. The early years are the worst. you will heal and he will fall apart.
