Upside Down

[Coyote]

Thanks for the cudos garwayne, much appreciated.

I actually have to practice what I preach and go spend some 'me' time. Long day. For now,

"She says she has this anger towards me and it is all old stuff."

When an S is in the mid-years thing of 'finding themselves' their spouse is the first one to get the brunt of their anger. Unresolved stuff from earlier. Abandonment feelings from their younger years, sure. You will be blamed for this n' that, ya. Some of it will be unfair. Helps to understand this though so you don't go blaming yourself for 'everything' W says. Helps to put this in perspective.

"And I responded so now you're going to punish the rest of us. Of course she stormed off."

You back slid here. Oh well, learn and move on. However tempting, don't accuse W or point a finger at this and that for a good while. This type of discussion has to wait for when you're both in a better place. If she brings this type of thing up, listen, acknowledge her feelings on this and then carry on. Steady as she goes. Instead, steer towards things that need addressing, eg, kids, laundry, bills, etc. Vent elsewhere.

Try to understand that the ups and downs when dealing with this type of thing is par for the course. Certainly, things will get weird, probably even weirder. Brace yourself. I know it's not easy but try to be on an even keel when you interact with her. The steadiness can be disarming. Save the blowouts for later for when you're by yourself