New here; husband left

[Coyote]

"I'm so disapointed in him. Making our baby spend thanksgiving at a sitters house b/c he dosnt want to get up early"

He's on a journey and he has his own agenda. Resist trying to sort him out. I know it's hard. You want to fix this. However, very likely H has other stuff that he may or may not be aware of that's working itself through, whatever... Ironically, much of this is not your fault.

You just focus on improvements you can do with yourself. Take care of things you can control. Let go of those that you can't. Yes, H may give you some that are valid, sure. Can't hurt to make your own list though. Look it over, check it twice, make sure who's naughty or nice...(Oops, that's Santa...)

When an S is like this it's alright to try to understand them as best as you can. Understand they have some issues. When they're ready they can talk about it. May take a while though for H to work this though, baby steps.

One thing here though, if you fix something and then H's focus goes to another thing, fix that then it goes to yet another, and so on and so on...watch for that. If you do get this then just keep things steady as she goes. Focus on what you can do. One at a time and nothing more. Acknowledge H on this and carry on. Often, when a S is like this they're button pushing. Let it wash off and vent elsewhere.

"Also, he called wanting to know when the divorce is susposed to be finalized."

Well then, 'If this is what you really want then I won't hold you back. You can be a great person. I enjoy spending my time with you, especially when we are appreciative of each other. But if this is what you feel then that's ok. Again, I don't mean to hold you back.' A good part of him will be expecting an argument. Crying, pleading to come back. That will just feed the negative energy of this and actually make it worse. Vent elsewhere.

"Think he's planning on revieling a gf or something??"

If he does or does not then that has to run it's course too. Take it as it comes. If this does actually happen, stay cool. These things almost 'never' last. Trust me on this. If H thought he had issues before, he will get a pie full with this! Again, vent elsewhere. (Almost always, after 3-6, sometimes 8 months romantic chemicals die off, dopamine. The romance fizzles off then they actually have to start 'working' on things. Saw this like clockwork with my W and others...)