You've gotten some very good advice in this thread. I can personally attest that if you pursue your wife, she will run the other direction. I did exactly that for about 6 weeks after mine left. Now she's with another man and posting all about it on FB. About 5-6 weeks ago, I started doing the LRT (last resort technique) and it seems as if it could be working. Very very slowly though. Anyway, do not pursue her in any way, shape, form or fashion. Do not ask questions about where she's been or what she's been up to. Don't ask for hugs or reassurances. When you do those things, it puts pressure on her and she will come to resent you for it. It is the hardest thing in the world to do but it is the ONLY thing that seems to work consistently.
Once you start to find new activities and quit pursuing your wife, she'll wonder why you stopped calling or TM so much and what you're up to. She has no reason to come back if she knows exactly where you are and what you are doing every minute of the day. She can go out and do whatever she wants and know you are right at home waiting. If she feels like you may be moving on, she may have more of an incentive to work on things. It's funny how that works, and it's 100% against what your every instinct tells you, but you have to do it.
I wish you the best of luck. Heed the advice you get from the seasoned ones here, they won't steer you wrong. Put on your best face when you interact with your wife and become someone she'd be a fool to leave.
Congratulations on the sobriety! I'm working on that issue myself and I know it can be a very tough road. Remember, we're all pulling for you and we believe in marriage and want yours to work! Keep us updated!
