my initial thread is called "my story" and it's long and complicated situation that i'm in so if you're really keen to know please read that thread.
my son awoke at 430am crying out when he has to to potty (he'll be 5 on Dec 30) and my W and i ended up in the room together but she was startled i was there. i was, at that very moment, having a massive panic attack wondering if there was OM involved. i had that thought because of a) my own previous actions which would amount to something like heavy petting and b)i know she has a connection with him in a visceral way.
i'm still quite panicked about it actually however i think there may have been a breakthrough today. i DIDN'T ask her there at 430am knowing she had a job interview at 9am. when she got home we had the best conversation that we've had, honest, without anyone getting angry or crying...just connecting like we had not done in a long time. though the conversation was difficult (i'm a disabled vet) so a lot of our conversation centered around me being complacent with disability income when i could probably get a fast food job or something part time to get an extra $300-400 a month which would help out tremendously. she feels anxious about her interview and sort of dumped her angst on me saying that because in the IT field (my former profession) changing jobs often isn't viewed in a negative manner that such things were far more common than they used to be. she blamed me for her thinking that was correct and that, in fact, why she hadn't been hired was due to having only been in jobs for a few years before moving on to another.
in any case... long story short... it was a very good communication session and i hope a portent of our being able to fix our relationship and keep our family whole.
