Wife left

[Accuray]

Don't talk to MIL. That is a major no.

There are three reasons for that:

1) If she feels you are campaigning for your cause using her family she will resent you for it.

2) It will make things awkward with MIL going forward in the case you do reconcile

3) She will interpret that as pursuing. Remember that you want to appear to pull away and detach. You are working on you, and making improvements for your own benefit, not hers.

That's what the books generally recommend. That said, every situation is different. At the end of the day, you need to decide what is right for you. The general guidance is that involving her family or friends is a bad idea that does more harm than good.

If your mother told you who to date, who to marry, or who to love, how would you feel about it? Would the child in you still be tempted to do the opposite to maintain your identity and independence? What would her reaction be?

--Accuray