It sounds like you are very frustrated Luv and rightfully so. I would try to detach even further, as much as you are capable. I stopped looking at FB because it brought on feelings that I didn't enjoy and since I stopped it is not as much of an issue.
It seems like you have so much of your current attention on what your w is doing to you that it is troubling you to focus on yourself and finding ways to GAL. I absolutely get it, I was the same way for months but only unitl I began to detach and GAL did I feel better.
As far as the friend you confided in that really stinks. Obviously don't confide in them again but in all honesty you really will not be able to find out exactly what they shared so do your best not to mind read/speculate/imagine and let it be. If it's important and was told to your w then it will eventually come out.
Sounds like you are being a great father to your children, focus on that and be proud and try to find a few activities for yourself that you think you may enjoy. Start small and force yourself if you have to.
