Trying to make it to the bye week

[MadeToSucceed]

I've been absent for a while. In all honesty, after mediation I guess I just felt drained. Like I'd fought hard and lost I suppose. I'll try to provide a recap of sorts because today (and last night) have been tougher than I've experienced in about a month.

I was in a wedding on November 5th. The preacher made not only THEM pledge to ALWAYS fight for their marriage but also the grooms, bridesmaids and congregation! Told us we can let our friend complain a little to us here and there before sending him back to his wife to work it out. Never heard a pastor do that during a ceremony. Makes me wish he'd done my wedding. It was tough for me to be there but I was glad I was. Had an even deeper appreciation for M. Oddly enough I had several women kind of come on to me there and so that was kind of weird and different for me but my close friends tell me they see a "new" me in a lot of ways.

The following weekend I went to a wedding of another friend in...that was November 12th. I wasn't in that wedding so it wasn't as bad really. Had a great time.

All this time, still zero communication between the two of us.

Then it happened about a week ago. I'm sitting at home on Monday, November 14th...MNF had gone off and I was watching TV and at about midnight I get an email that says: "I miss u." Yep. It was from her.

It pissed me off and gave me all kinds of mixed emotions but I didn't respond. How do you respond to that?

Tuesday, November 15th she messaged one of my friends on Facebook saying she was trying to be a better person now. Of course he told me right away.

On Wednesday, November 16th she sent this message (they sent it to me after they got it) to each of the two married couples that we were always extremely close to that she'd shunned after they tried reaching out to her:

"I won't take much of your time. i just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for any and everything that I have ever done knowingly and knowingly to offend you or your wife. I have gone thru quite a bit in the past 6 months, and i have done nothing but learn every step of the way. I just want to thank you for trying to be there for me during the difficult time that H and I were going thru. Although I didn't see it for what it was at the time, I truly realize it now. I didn't necessarily handle everything the right way, and I see that now. Like they say.. Hind sight is 20/20. I have always valued both of you friends, and still maintain a high level of respect for you both. Some recent events have really allowed things to really be put in perspective for me. Now more than ever I truly realize that life is too short, and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. So I just truly want to say that I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. Please charge it to my head and not to my heart. A better Vet is what I am striving to be, and will be, because I know that all things are possible with God. I love you both, and I am constantly thinking and praying for your family. Thanks again for being, and trying to be great friends!"

They all felt it was somewhat genuine but at the same time felt like she was up to something...like she knew they'd tell me and it would get a reaction. On Saturday, November 19th she emailed me asking me to disable her Facebook fan page...she thought I was still the admin for it but I'm not. I still didn't respond.