H and I seem to be getting along better he seems like he is talking to me more which is good. We need to be able to talk to each other. We talked a few times today which was nice I had to call him, the tv he took broke so I called about the warranty it is in my name. He called me about something else I was thinking wow this is the most we have talked in awhile. My mom watched my boys today, thanksgiving break, and we went out to dinner. H called while we were out he wanted to get my opinion about the kids christmas gift. Which is how he used to be he always asked me what I thought.
So I had been thinking I should ask him if he wanted to come over on Christmas to see the boys open their gifts from santa. We had a conversation last week and we both wanted the boys on christmas am. He gave up pretty quickly and I said in that conversation he could come over but I didn't think he heard me so i was going to swallow my pride and smash down how uncomfy it would make me and think about the boys. So I told H he could come over on christmas am if he wants to that the boys would love it. So H tells me I don't want to fight with you but since I said he couldn't have the boys he decided he was going to England for Christmas. That is where he is from all his family lives there and that is where OW lives. He had told me previously that he would be gone from the 28 to Jan 4. He just said he wouldn't be around. I knew he was going to England but he didn't say it.
I can't believe he said he was my fault he wasn't going to see the boys on Christmas... I would never not see them on a holiday no matter if it was for 1 hour. I would be there.
I am pretty pleased with my reaction to H. I didn't get mad I didn't have any reaction to him. I did tell him that when we had talked earlier I said he could come over for Christmas but I did'nt think he heard me. He seemed suprised I didn't react and told me he wasn't going to just sit in his apt on Christmas and feel sorry for himself. I said ok its your life you can do whatever you want or something like that. He was waiting for me to lose my mind.
When he called back later to talk to the boys he talked to me again about nothing much. I had to hold it together until the boys went to bed. Then I sort of lost it. I really can't believe that he isn't going to see the boys on christmas. I keep thinking he is going to just run off and have fun with OW. Is he going to take her to his mom's for christmas? I just feel so I don't know how I feel. I knew he was going there but to really know just hurts my feelings.
