ROMB, Reading your post reminded me so much of my H. He also cries at the drop of a hat in movies that we see now.
And yes, trying to separate the financials is something that my H cannot cope with at all.
I think it's down to internal conflict - he wants to go but doesn't want to leave us. I know it doesn't matter what's behind it all, but it does help to hear others' experiences of their H's.
I am mighty impressed by your composure in the face of those phone messages. I've been there, too, and know just how that heart-beating-out of your-chest feels when you make the discovery.
Good on you for not losing it. As lc4 mentions, it's not going to make anything better to blow-up about it. Arguing is a pointless activity that only makes our situations worse.
I'm glad to hear you saying that you are now at the point where you know you deserve better than this. That really is a major step forward in the process.
