My friend, you have absolutely nothing to be disgusted with. You have acted like nothing but a gentleman the entire time I have known you on this MB. You hold your head up high!!! That is my 2x4 to you!!
I know you're human and there are times when even you will get in a funk. You have done so much good here, despite dealing with your own sitch, and I don't think you realize it. You are truly a vessel of Him, and that is something you should be extremely proud of. You have been a great example, friend and GIFT to many of us here.
Man, I just want to throttle your W for not seeing what ALL of us here see in you!