Is it possible no DB tool can save my marriage?

[workinghardguy]

DBing is not the same as being a rug... though at times it may feel that way. The OM issue does make it more complex and probably more like rug-like feeling.

It's more about focusing on you and your life. What doesn't your W like about you? Do you agree? Is that something you want to change/improve about yourself?

If W was spending willy-nilly on OM and that would financially hurt you then you would need to set a boundary. But that boundary is about WHAT she's spending it on... simply that she's spending beyond your means as a couple to handle. If your W was spending so much time with OM that your children (not up to speed on your sitch so not sure if there are kids) were being hurt by her lack of presence and that bothered you, then you can certainly say something. But it would be about the lack of interaction with the kids, NOT about how she is spending her time.

I have to run but that's the short version... I'll try to put down more later.