After reading everyones comments, and careful discernment, I've decided that approaching OM is not in my best interest - for several reasons. Two very important reasons include:
1) size difference (he could easily clobber me, if he chose to); 2) My W would absolutely file a D, then she'd play hardnose.
With regard to "what's next": We've signed our intent to vacate, effective 12/31/11, when our apartment lease expires. We have not yet had a conversation as to "what's next", although she briefly offered that "we" will soon start looking for a new place. Happy that she isn't as intent on a D as she was once, my feelings about starting a new lease are mixed. First, a relationship at some level still continues between them. Second, she still hasn't told me anything (even if I haven't asked). Third, we are currently in separate bedrooms, with no intimacy... do I want that to continue?
If I'm understanding the whole counterintuitive concept correctly, I should just be like a rug on the floor so W can walk all over me, in order to save the marriage. Right? In other words, is there a difference between being passive for the purpose of saving the marriage and being taken advantage?
