wife won't admit PA with OM

[Harrier]

Let's say that the PA truly never happened... what would she have to say to me to convince me of that?

She can't. Jake, I'm going to tell you what my W told me. There is only one answer you'd be happy with. Her admitting to a PA, because it's clear you still think something happened.

The only thing I can think of is to have a 100% honest and logical conversation about every possible piece of evidence I have. From what everyone on here has said, that will drive us apart and probably won't ever happen. So how do I just accept it and move on? I want to, but am struggling.

But even that would not be enough. You could go over every piece of evidence and short of a smoking gun. It will NEVER be enough. Your mind with twist most of the evidence to the way you want you want to believe.

But again, you are looking for a quick fix here. It's not going to happen.

At some point you have to either let it go or decide you can't and move on. If you can't that's okay too..some people have deal breakers.

But you are doing no good dwelling on it. NONE.

Believe me I speak from personal experience. In my situation it was not even close to the norm - maybe 2-3 text per day, 3-4 phone calls a week (none outside of work hours), occasional emails, but they'd go days w/o emailing. But there was no doubt as to what it was.

I did get lucky in one respect, my W admitted it was an EA and apologize more than once and displayed a lot of remorse.(I didn't ask her to).

but even that wasn't enough for me until I reached a point where I could be open to forgiving and moving on. Not forgetting or not a free pass. Strangely, a lot of my trust in my W has been restored.