Sorry to see you're back. The solution to your issue as I see it is so plain and simple. She can not be any more clear.
LISTEN TO HER...
She tells you that she FEELS you don't listen and your response is, "you're generalizing"... Not good!
Don't try to change her feelings. Don't tell her that her feelings are wrong. You can't! You are not her! Her feelings are hers. She is entitled to them.
Just validate and listen...
Now, about the sex thing. It's simple. There are givers in the bedroom and there are takers. Be a giver! And when the time is right (and only when the time is right), ask her what she wants or how she likes it. Ask her what makes her feel good. Do not ask these questions during sex. Ask when you can really listen...
Remember, you need to make love to her brain first before even thinking about her body. As men we all know this but we forget or we stop once we "get them"...
When is the last time you had a bath together complete with candle light, flowers, champagne, and soft music WITHOUT the expectation of sex?
When is the last time your had flowers delivered?
When is the last time you planned a date from start to finish? Not a date night but YOU taking HER on a date.
How about the last time you had a candle lit dinner? Bought her a little gift? Rubbed her feet? Painted her toes?
How about a tandem massage at a high end massage place?
Once you are piecing again, make this a 180. Not a temporaty one but a permanent staple in your relationship.
And the one thing I never forget is, in most cases...
Men want to MAKE love, and women want to BE loved!
Good luck my friend...
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
