For my situation, I know that this was more than "just friends" and may be defined as an EA at a minimum. Hundreds of texts per day and tons of minutes on the phone and calls placed as soon as I'm not around tell me that it wasn't just physical attraction or one night stand.
She told me that their "friendship" started because she liked talking to him and getting his viewpoint on things that were going on with her life. She even said that if she was able to talk to me then she wouldn't have had to talk to him. That doesn't really bother me if it ends there, because we are working on fixing that now. However, I have evidence that some would say is murky/unclear and others would say is crystal-clear that a PA was going on. That's what is really hurting me.
After reading all of your comments I'm really understanding that I should be grateful to even be this fortunate in my reconciliation opportunity right now. And I am. I kinda look at it like my W ultimately chose me over him in some sort of competition in her mind. Why?
I think about my W with the OM a lot and keep envisioning them together. Anytime we are together and I get the urge to be closer to her, hold her hand, give her a little kiss, etc, I think that the OM probably had the same thoughts since he is a normal person like everyone else and that he probably did the same things.... it makes me sick. I wasn't her first relationship so it's naive to say that she's never done those things with someone else... but to do them while with me is something I never thought would happen.
I'm having a hard time forgiving her. We have got along well since the last argument that I posted about. But I think that her complete lack of remorse and all the lies she told are eating at me. Will that go away? Let's say that the PA truly never happened... what would she have to say to me to convince me of that? The only thing I can think of is to have a 100% honest and logical conversation about every possible piece of evidence I have. From what everyone on here has said, that will drive us apart and probably won't ever happen. So how do I just accept it and move on? I want to, but am struggling.
