I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[AntoniaB]

It's much more simple than you realize. You are making excuses constantly about how you "can't" detach. No...You "won't" detach. That's the problem. It shocks me that this is going on for so long post-divorce, but then again, you're still not attempting NC.

It's very simple to do a few things:

1. Put her on your BLOCK list on FB. I realize you aren't FB friends. But if you're not blocking her, she can see some of your page and you can see some of hers, including OM. If you can't handle that it's there, then block her. Tell your sons that you don't want to know ANYTHING about what she is or isn't doing on FB. Tell your friends. I get this impression that whatever you don't know, people are lining up to tell you or worse yet, you're asking them what she's doing. Not healthy for you at all.

2. BLOCK HER TEXTS. You can contact your phone provider and do this. I did it on the internet, just typed in my XH's phone number. Done. He couldn't say a word to me.

3. BLOCK HER ON A LANDLINE if you have one. Same process. You either do this online or you call the phone company. "I do not want to receive calls from this number." No explanation is necessary. This is your right.

4. BLOCK HER EMAIL ADDRESS. Likely you can enter her address online on a block list. Mission accomplished.

You have to cut off her means of attack. You haven't even TRIED to stop her.

If you do all this, it leaves her the postal service, and frankly you can write "return to sender" on anything from her and not open it, or her showing up in person, and if she does that, you can not answer the door, call the police, whatever.

There is nothing more any of us can do to help you. We've told you a hundred times to try NC and you refuse. You're making your own nightmare at this point. If you don't do the above, it can only mean you like being treated this way and don't want it to stop because you're getting something out of it.