REQ: Looking for a thread from a fellow DBer...

[Abbey]

Thanks DbMod for the extra info. I should get my books today or t'row.

@Westcoast, the distancing, and setting boundaries were set with my H once I realized that he didn't have the cahoonies to ditch the parasite until his self preservation kicked in. Which is what happened. (She broke into his house, refused to leave, he called the cops, she accused him of beating her up, told them the cops she lived at the house, etc etc etc.) H thought for sure he was going to be arrested. It was enough to kick his brain back into reality. What I know about both of them is if you give them enough rope, they'll self destruct BIG time. I don't have to help this process along AT ALL. This I've known from the moment the interaction between them had started again.

This setting boundaries for me the first time took from Dec to April. I only allowed him to phone or text. No visits, no friends with benefits, none of that. He was forced to deal with the parasite full on. Nothing like a big dose of realty to help the process.

During those calls from Dec to April. He professed his love. Told me we'd be back together. And I just kept saying, I would like that, but he has "work to do". Until that happens etc. I even went DARK for a short period just before the boundary setting was put into place. It's a combo of giving, rope dropping, darkness when needed and boundary setting once the tarnish starts to set in on the affair.

Thus why I want to get this house sold quickly. I know for example, they were fighting last night. He was NOT happy with her. She got all up in his ear about not returning her call IMMEDIATELY. And then she wanted him to do something for her. He said, NO, "we" are going out. He's already lying to her, and they're already fighting and playing tug of war. Best thing is, this predator parasite isn't SMART enough to actually ever find a book like DB.