Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[Nblost]

I looked in SSM (have it on Kindle) and couldn't find it...but I thought there was an example in there about a H whose wife wasn't into improving their marriage/sex life. He created a link between their marriage being happy and their kids being happy. That made the wife more motivated to work on things. Maybe it's in one of my other advice books.

I wonder if you should try letting your wife break down when you tell her your needs aren't being met and not comfort her. It may be worth a try before you get to the point where you are having a last ultimatum conversation or are tempted by an affair. Maybe she needs to see you are more serious and she'll look into more counseling or try harder. (I can see though if you are just starting to reconcile, that may feel too risky and so maybe you still wait awhile)

I do think the more you can work on being happy yourself, you'll be more attractive to your W and you may also be less needy. I'm not sure how much GAL-ing you did prior to reconciling...but was there something you were doing more of back when your wife was trying harder and decided to reconcile?

Honestly, I'm happy for you that she is staying with you for now...you have a good chance. You are miles ahead of me!

I can see toys/techniques not working...for me, I enjoyed some of that, but some of the suggestions by my H kind of felt like the sex books...too much pressure and too focused on just the sex part of our relationship. In hindsight, a big error on my part...but I think we both share the blame for not communicating well.

Hang in there!