Hey WHG, I don't know if this is much of an option for you but have you considered taking a week or two away from your wife? Maybe stay with a friend, just temporarily so you can have some space from your W and the sitch?

It may prove beneficial for both of you to have to deal with issues apart from one another.

Think about it.

Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife