Learning from the pain....hard lessons

[In_Shock]

Wow david -- almost the same amount of time as me!! Thank you so much for stopping by my thread. Yes, having it right there all the time is too much for me emotionally. She texts for hours and hours to OW every night. I finally a while back started leaving the room, and going to my bed just to be away from it.

Hearing those words -- "I'm done" or whatever incarnation the WAS puts them in really do make one feel as if the soul is dead. There have been times I was so low that I found peace by thinking of ways to commit suicide painlessly....(NO, I am NOT at all thinking of actually doing this --- the thing that keeps me grounded and absolutely not serious about it is S needs me-- so no worries from any of you---just keeping it real here.)

I've had good days, I had a couple of great days, and I have terrible days. I keep trying to keep a PMA -- and one thing that also keeps me going is what you also said--- I'm out of my rut and I'm much more aware of how I act, the type of person I am, my character,etc....

You keep moving forward too, man. We'll see each other on the other side, no matter how the M's resolve or don't resolve.