Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[Nblost]

Hmm, she sounds challenging. It sounds like she could use her own counseling to work through some of these issues. Honestly, it took my H's affair to get me in for counseling (although I did the sex therapist before I found out about the A)

It seems odd she is having affairs if she is so non-sexual. Have you asked what she gets out of these EAs or what she likes about herself in the EAs? I'm not sure if you guys are still discussing or if that would be opening old wounds. I guess I am pretty much living in the wound right now!

I would like you to find a way to make yourself more attractive/mysterious to your wife. Although, not sure if she would take the bait. I just wonder if she has any competitiveness in her if she thought she was at risk of losing you. If you are just starting to piece things together, probably a bad time to rock the boat.

I did like how SSM tried to suggest tying a happy sex life to things your wife values like the kids.

Also, at one point my H had a pile of sex books and it intimidated me...I felt like there was more to our problems than just sex.