Alcoholic H wants D part 2.....

[25yearsmlc]

just journaling....
after thinking about it I decided to have S14 go to his dads after all. I told him if he was upset with his D he needed to work that out with him and not complain to me about it. It was between him and his D and they would have to work it out.

agreed...but at some point MAYBE, you'll need to take some steps to protect s14

IF h starts his "letting him down" syndrome again.
Assume nothing on your end, let H handle it but if he does not handle it, then make some fun arrangements or alternative options for your son so he's not stuck feeling alone b/c he and his dad were NOT able to "handle it."

In other words, Try to avoid the set ups for let down...
Make sense?


H picked him up and I was looking good and ready for my night out with friends. H didnt ask were I was going but came in and hung out for about 15 min.
we chatted and I was upbeat since I was looking forward to my evening and told S14 I would pick him up in the morning.
Yesterday H had called and left a message, The house sold and there was paperwork we needed to sign and he had been trying to get hold of me to arrange that. I have not been being as available as I have been before, but he finally got hold of me and asked if I could get the paperwork in the mail for him. I told him i could do that but yesterday ended up so busy by the time I got to postoffice they were closed. so sent him a message later letting him know that S14 would be coming with him for the evening and that I hadnt made the postoffice...then went about my day. later I got a text from him about not answering my phone and checked and there were 7 missed called from him...???? after he had already sent text about it being fine that i mailed the paperwork on Mon. and he would pick S14 up after his safey meeting...I didnt return the calls and didnt ask about it when he got there but thought it was funny that now that I have pulled back with the contact suddenly he is calling and texting ....DB does work LOL!
Ive already gotten a good morning text to let me know S14 will prob sleep late but he left the house key for me....He would not have done that a week ago, he would have just let me and S14 work that out ourselves...
Is this progress??


Not "positive" it's progress but it looks like it AND it's not a bad thing. Probably safe to call it a baby step.


i dont know, I tend to see progress but then we will go to our Co parenting sessions on Mondays and there are steps back, but Im going to see this as positive and really be aware of what I say and how I react this Monday in our session and just let it be what it is.

read NOTHING into anything. Be grateful for improvements but have NO expectations at this point. You will need a lot of clarity from him AND over time, to trust a lot. So keep that in mind and don't get yourself up for a feeling of failure when all it really was, was dashed expectations you could avoid having in the first place. HOpe that's clear...sort of??

Its def an improvement on thing from the way they were 3 weeks ago...
feeling hopefull this morning but not just because of this new contact, but because I am feeling stronger and not as paniced, and am able to sit back and think things through instead of reacting on the fly. I feel much more in control of my feelings lately and not as desperate as before.

^^^GREAT NEWS....and true. The more internal peace you have, the more it emanates. All I know is that when I truly felt that I'd be more than fine, but actually REALLY FINE,

with or without my h, and in some ways was preparing my life for it without him, and it was looking GOOD...

h seemed to notice. He seemed to think that maybe I was going to be better off without him

and he was NOT going to be better off without us...hmmmm....and seeds got planted and began to grow.

Over time, he did awaken. I have no "proof" of what caused what. But it sure felt that way. And you know what difference does it make in some ways?

I FELT HAPPIER and that matters!! So if it got to him, or if something else did, all I know was I was in a better place.

So are you.



It must be showing...:)

indeed....