A fork in the road - EA admitted by wife

[NYCPeter]

Follow up from Friday night :

Warning - not DB friendly - and snooping...

Sat AM - I was angry, W asked what was wrong..

I told her that I didn't appreciate that she went out with her GF and then didn't come home until 3:00am - that D9 was up all night and that I had been up since 5:30am to go to work, not great co-parenting. I said that it seems she has other things on her mind than our kids (not nice, but it's true - she has been neglecting spending time with them lately).

I asked her where she went - she said to the restaurant where she worked and had a few drinks with co-workers and then gave a friend a lift home. I asked which friend - she said Carlos. I flipped, "you are using my car to give Carlos a lift home!" - yes he's just a friend. I said "it's a friend you had an EA with and possibly more". She said she just talks to him...

Later she asked about the mediator, I told her that I did not want to see the mediator until January - she could call her L if she wished but that I would instruct my L to delay until Jan, so we could have peaceful holidays and girls b'days.

She left for work - not sure what time she got home I was fast asleep. Now the snooping and discovery - woke up this AM and for the first time in memory, W's iPhone wasn't hidden.

Saw an IM to her mom -
"And now I have to work with the person who I want to be with, who doesn't want me. Life can't get better than this" - wow she's sharing the fact that she wants to be with someone else with he mom, I really don't get how her mom would support this.

Saw an IM to her friend -
W - "I hate myself - I am so upset, I don't know how to deal"
F - "I'm sorry - It will be alright"
W - "I've been such a fool - I hate myself right now.
W - "He wants to be with 22 year old - I have to let go - I have to move on - I can't believe it's been a year and this is what I get".

So - it's been going on a year and for the last 6 months she has been trying to end our M. I have obviously not said anything to my W at this stage.

I feel for her - she obviously had her head turned and is now being rejected by OM. At the same time - what about me, she has been blaming me for everything and an affair has been going on for a year. I had pretty obvious proof in the past - now this is conclusive.

She is working all day today - and tonight will likely be very cold towards me (due to my comment yesterday re: the girls).