Forward we did move kinda slow at first....well it was slow to me, fast to him. He didnt want to move in together and I pushed him until he agreed....MISTAKE! He has made this statement several times that he will NOT be pushed. Forward, I agree that I am looking to him for my happiness, I mean I must be, because I am sad when I dont hear from him.
Antonia I am alot like your friend, although I would NEVER be brave enough to end the rel. I have NEVER broken up with anyone I dont think, maybe once in my younger years.
I cant explain it guys, its like I enjoy my time alone more and more BUT I wish I could see him on weekends at least. I seem to HAVE to talk to him everyday but not for long periods of time. Its like I just want to make sure he is still there and still loves me. I am SO AFRAID of not being loved by him. I am worried to death that he will NOT be back to my state and this will go on forever. I am worried to death that he really doesnt love me. I DONT want to go thru the dating scent again so I hold onto him and try and enjoy what I have.
This is what I expect from him....and I am just trying to be honest about it. I know some of it isnt right but then again I dont feel like I am asking too much.
I expect him to answer my texts if I text him. He dont have to right away, just at least acknowledge that he got them. I expect to talk to him at least a few minutes every day, because I dont get to see him but a few times a year. Is this not fair? I expect him to tell me he loves me often. NOT everytime we speak, but if he says he loves me and I believe him because it took him so long to tell me and those words dont come easy to him, then WHY wouldnt he want to tell me often? I expect him not to forget important dates, like my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas just stuff like that. I called him at midnight on his birthday to wish him a Happy Birthday. He was on the phone with me at Midnight when my birthday arrived and DID NOT even acknowledge it. He asked what was wrong and I said I was hurt because he forgot my birthday. He said MY GOD couldnt you even wait until tomorrow. I dont understand this? I expect us to be able to talk openly about things in our lives, share everything with each other. I mean we have been together over 2 years now. I expect him to be there for me and me for him when needed. AND I expect Affection....not all the time but a little....which he does do this.
You all are prb saying that I am the neediest person you have ever known BUT in my defense I was in a 20 yr. marriage and this was how things were. SO maybe I am expecting this to continue. I know NO OTHER WAY.
Also dont forget that I lost alot during that first year. I have no family around and the ones I do have DID NOT call me on my birthday. THAT is hurtful to me. This is just the way it is. Like I said my xh ALWAYS told me he loved me many times a day sometimes. He was ALL these things I described above, so maybe I am trying to carry on where we left off. I WOULD love to be able to not think about a man, but it is SO LONELY. I love laying watching moves with my bf and cooking for him and pampering him. He is SO opposite. He could care less if he got a Happy Birthday or present. Says he needs NOTHING for Christmas. DOesnt want me buying him anything at anythime. AND tells me he should NOT have to tell me he loves me everyday becuase I should know this. I just dont understand.
