DB'ing is soooo hard!

[2thepoint]

"What I don't understand is how she can have the nerve to interogate me about my going to a mini high school reunion in which it was only meeting childhood friends, and then walk out the door to go for a day trip with the OM."

She is projecting and trying to deflect from her own immoral behavior. I would just try to ignore it since you know the truth.

"...she seems to feel that anything I do outside of our marriage indicates that I am fine with a so called separate life."

Let her think that. Remember, it is the WAW who dropped the D bomb. So, all you are doing is giving her exactly what she has asked for and preparing yourself for the possibility of being D from your W. I think it is natural for the LBS to be fearful that W may think you are getting comfortable with the single life and will therefore continue to move on because it is so counter to what we hope will be reaction of the WAS to our detachment.

So, this is the point where time, time and more time is needed for your W's feelings for you to resurface. If you stick to those changes that are the most important to making you a better you. And, sufficient time is given for those changes to take root. And for your W to believe they are for real and are permanent. Then and only then will you have a shot at getting your M back on track.

See, I think if you do this right, eventually your W is going to stop thinking or saying that you seem happier living a separate life. Instead, she is going to want to be a part of that life with you. You just have to hold on and and keep your DB efforts going strong.

I'll repeat what I said about the OM. There is nothing you can do regarding the OM that will help your M except to ignore him as if he doesn't exist. There may come a time if you get to the point of piecing your M back together that you will need to address this issue, but now is not the time. So put it out of your mind and only focus on those things that you can control, namely, YOU!